You feel connected, he understands you, he’s different from the others. Your friends just don’t understand.
Often these are the signs we use to determine whether or not we are “in love”. These days, we begin dating and get to know new people through social media, texting, Facetime, Snapchat. It is even more difficult to meet and get to know someone. There is less and less face-to-face time.
So when we do, and we feel that “connection” and we believe we have found love.
It feels good, the texts show he cares and he speaks to us in ways that make us feel special.
So how do we know if this is real love or simply lust? Often, what we think is love is actually lust and there may be signs of a possible toxic relationship in the future. Here are five signs of a possible toxic relationship:
1. The communication is intense, frequent and almost all through social media or texting in the beginning. It is continuous and fast-paced. It feels like there is an intense need to “speak” or text all the time throughout the day.
2. The information you get is “surface” and does not reveal a lot of detail when getting to know each other. When you do get information you may hear red flags such as “I am not good at relationships” or “I am a jealous person”. You may want to listen to this information and investigate further.
3. You may hear from him very frequently at first and the relationship may move very quickly, this may even go against your instinct. After these periods of intensity, you may notice times when the communication stops and becomes more infrequent without warning.
4. Increase in possessiveness as the relationship grows more serious. The manner in which you communicate may become more toxic and conflicted; arguments may spark at a time when you should just be getting to know each other.
5. The intensity of the relationship grows in a short period of time. You may witness periods of arguing and then making up. These periods of arguing may even lead to more intense intimacy.
Keep these simple guidelines in mind if you feel your relationship is becoming unhealthy. It may be that what feels like true love is in fact growing into a toxic relationship.