Published by Athena Staik, Ph.D.
Life can be challenging, complete with bumps and unexpected turns, and not-so-easy lessons to learn. All of us, at one time or other, have been down a road or two that brought immense pain and challenged us in multifaceted ways. What shaped our life ultimately, however, was the way we responded to these events in our life, and not the events themselves.
Thus, we need winning strategies because it is your consistent responses to life events, and not the events themselves, that determine the limits of what you manifest, how long you get stuck in a certain pattern, what you do with your life and in particular who you become as a result.
As you may have already noticed in your life, past challenges and unexpected turns however were often opportunities that contributed some level of value to your life, perhaps, stretching you out of an old comfort zone, teaching you something you needed to better understand, or helping you clarify and separate what you most want and value, yearn to fulfill and manifest in your life.
In other words, obstacles are often opportunities to clarify what you “think” you want from what you really, really want that would really make life more wonderful, happy and healthy, inside out.
In a nutshell, the amount of time wasted in nowhere land depended on whether you used a winning life strategy.
Aa life strategy is simply a formula for success or failure, that consists of a way of thinking, an overall attitude and approach that decides actions, or how you will use your energy at any given moment to: (1) think and assess a situation, (2) create and imagine, and (3) make choices. The right formula is critical because it decides the type of energy (emotion) you access, and there are two basic options, overall — either love or fear.
In contrast to a failing strategy, a winning strategy is one that works each and every time to help you grow as a person, and strengthen your inner capacities (even when it appears to not be working…). It is consistent. It is dependable.
It’s an inner capacity you have to access three amazing, and uniquely human abilities, more specifically, your capacities for: conscious thought and reflection; conscious creativity and imagination; and conscious action and choice making.
Conscious observer (vs subconscious judge)
As observer you are connected to your brain’s amazing capacities for reflective thought and possibility thinking. As judge, you are totally limited to black-and-white, either-or type conclusions, assessments, etc. that your body has recorded from early childhood in moments when you were scared – triggered.
Understanding your reasons inspires your determination to realize your dreams, and melts any obstacles in the way. It also allows you to get totally and sincerely honest with yourself, and to even feel good about shedding old illusions and lies you told yourself to get cheap-but-costly feel-goods.
Conscious creator (vs subconscious copy-cat)
A clear vision sets an intention inside that invites all parts of you to join together to make your vision their mission. The power of your intention, allows you to take consistent action, shifting, redirecting and freeing your energy, in moments of decision, ever—away from what you want to avoid–and toward what you optimally want to achieve in your life and relationships.
Your vision powerfully energizes, and is energized by, your beliefs about yourself, what you are capable of and deserve, as a human being, and what you want and believe you have the ability to create.
As a conscious creator, you are connected to a vision of what you really, really want overall in your life and relationships. To the extent your vision is clear—and positively charged—it will serve as a clear guide to help you stay on course. What makes you “feel good” about yourself and life that is simultaneously healthy and promotes the life and relationship you yearn to create? Do you know what you want to create this year, or in five, ten years? Do you have a clear and detailed picture of what you specifically yearn for? When you think about what you want in life, do you “feel good” about yourself and life? Do you feel enthusiastic? Hopeful? Impassioned? You know you have a clear vision of a successful life and relationships when, thinking of it, energizes positive images and feeling states in you, such as feelings of gratitude, confidence, love, delight, peace of mind.
A clear vision best supports you to avoid the trap that ensnares most people—focusing or worrying about what is not wanted or what could go wrong. Too many people primarily focus on what they lack, their limitations, potential obstacles, faults of loved ones, and, in general, view of life a replete with seemingly insurmountable obstacles. While it is helpful to also clarify what is unwanted, proportionally, most of your energy, eighty to ninety percent, needs to be on envisioning what you do!
Conscious choice-maker (vs victim by default)
Action seals every deal. No matter how aware and thoughtful, regardless the clarity and passion of your vision, all this means nothing without regular and consistent action. Action or behavior is the true measure of what we say we want and value. Your role as a choice-maker who is informed and conscious, is an inner voice that believes in yourself as an agent of your life, consciously present at any given moment, of your powerful ability to choose what energy you will use to respond, love or fear, and believe in your capacity to do so.
Action seals the deal, and an overarching action is to set and intention that commits you to a lifelong seeking of optimal ways (wisdom) to show up and create your life to consciously foster increases in health and happiness for yourself and partner.
Getting stuck or staying long in unpleasant emotion states of mind and body is unhealthy and harms your health at emotional, physical and mental levels. In contrast, positive emotional states of mind and body enhance and enrich your health, life and relationships in every way. You are wired to take action to feel good about your self and life; you are wired to be motivated to realize happiness and meaningful relationships with your self and key others. Action makes your wishes and vision a reality. Not just any action, however. Actions that get you quick-fix feel-goods will not do, as they are learned, and addictive ways of handling stress that need to be unlearned if you want to be happy. Happiness and joy are found in forming healing and healthy, meaningful relationships with our self and life around us. Genuine happiness is based on quest for wisdom and understanding how life works, and taking thoughtfully caring actions that express your appreciate and gratitude for the preciousness of life in and around you.